"Da' Motorcycle"

I remember the first time I rode on a motorcycle with my husband. The motorcycle was actually his brother’s and we were out on a nice sunny day going for a ride. The place we were riding was in California and it was on Interstate Highway 5 (BEFORE it was completed!) I-5 at that time was just dirt and gravel and still under construction. Well...we were riding along, and we take this turn too fast and the rear tire slides out from under us! All my husband says to me is “...Don’t let the bike fall! Don’t let the bike fall!” HA! WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!????!!!! I should have had a clue...don’t you think...about what his priorities were!!! (I am sitting here with a smile on my face as I write this, because in the scheme of things I totally understood/stand...what he was saying!) He was simply saying (in an ‘offhanded’ way), “...I know you are going to be alright, but my brother will ‘kill’ me, if I return this motorcycle damaged...and not only that...I don’t have any money to repair it!” (God, don’t you just love us ENFP personality(s)???)

I bring that incident up because over the years my husband had never lost his love of motorcycle riding. (I have to admit, I enjoy it as well).

Well, here we are...present day--living here in Germany. Living in Germany as an American with a motorcycle has many challenges. First of all being affiliated with the military and working on a military Post presents many challenges to the motorcycle owner/rider. First of all, the motorcycle has to arrive in one piece...don’t we all worry about our household and personal belongings making the journey across the ocean(s) safely and intact? Well, the motorcycle was only nine months old (sounds like a baby huh?) when it was shipped. It arrived in one piece (a little scuff mark on the gas tank...minahz’ yeah?) Then comes the process of “re-licensing” via the local Army Post—what an ordeal! EVEN if you have a Stateside license that has the class for motorcycles on it, EVEN if you have already tested for your driver’s license under German law and local Post Policy, you STILL have to take the SAME written license test that you took with the German law and local Post Policy all over again minus a few questions! Now that said, once you past the written test (or should I say ‘re-test’), you STILL are not licensed to ride a motorcycle in Germany. No, you have to pass a skills test with the folks on Post before you can get it registered and licensed. BUT (and that’s a big BUT...no pun intended!), the catch is, if you live off Post, you have to get your motorcycle on Post to be tested, BUT (here’s that big BUT again!), you really shouldn’t be riding the motorcycle on German roads because it is not registered...AND...if you have it towed on Post, you run the risk of Security Personnel asking you for your license and registration when it gets towed through the gate!!! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT???? Oh, and one other thing...say you make it through all of the above, you STILL have to take a Safety Course before you can ride on Post! (Mind you, Safety Course portion is okay—I just think they have the “order” of the process a bit skewed! Have you ever heard of that “oxymoronic” statement, “...military intelligence...” ??? Very apropos here wouldn’t you say?

Well, on to my story... I promise, it is almost over! My dear husband was planning on riding, er....”transporting” his motorcycle in the wee hours of the morning to the local Post before the “registration” office opens. He was going to park it, go on to work and then return later in the morning and be tested. If asked how the motorcycle got there, he would say (innocently), that it was "transported" earlier (...not too untrue...). So, he takes it out for a test run last evening and wouldn’t you know....the motorcycle dies on him!!! It will not start!!! My poor baby! (husband...not the motorcycle!) He ends up having to push it up a hill (imagine pushing an 1100cc motorcycle UP a hill!). AND, to top it off and make my husband’s evening even better... a kindly elderly German man (who got a little “unkindly”) was trying to help my husband push the bike, all the while yelling at my husband, “Zwei!!! Zwei!!!” indicating to my husband, “...put it in second (gear)!!! Put it in second gear!!!” My husband “nicht spreche Deutsche”..so he could not tell the fellow that the cannot start this motorcycle that way!

Needless to say...but I’ll say it anyway...my Dear did not take the skills test today! Because the motorcycle basically sat for three months, it appears there may have been some condensation in the gas tank, thus the “sputtering” and dying out of the engine. Easily remedied BUT it has to wait for the weekend to have my husband’s full attention! Poor dear! And I thought I had it rough!

Well, that is the saga of “DA MOTORCYCLE”...(Being a good wife, I had to "vent" for my Hubby...)

“Happy Trails to you, Dear...I hope you get those big “BUT’s” taken care of...no pun intended!